Nonviolent Communication (NVC), also known as compassionate communication, is a communication approach developed by psychologist Marshall Rosenberg. It's rooted in the idea that all human actions stem from an attempt to meet universal human needs, and it offers a framework for communicating in a way that fosters empathy, understanding, and ultimately, connection.

Instead of focusing on right and wrong, blame, or judgment, NVC guides us to:

1. Observe without evaluation: This involves describing the specific actions or events we are reacting to without adding any judgment or interpretation. The goal is to state what happened as a neutral observer would. For example, instead of saying "You're always late," an observation would be, "You arrived 20 minutes after our scheduled meeting time today."

2. Identify and express feelings: This step involves acknowledging and naming the emotions we are experiencing in response to the observation. It's crucial to distinguish feelings from thoughts or interpretations. For instance, instead of saying "I feel like you don't care," a feeling would be, "I feel frustrated."

3. Connect with universal human needs: This involves identifying the underlying needs that are connected to the feelings we've identified. NVC posits that our feelings arise from whether our needs are being met or unmet. For example, feeling frustrated might be connected to a need for efficiency or respect.

4. Make clear and specific requests: Once we understand our observations, feelings, and needs, we can formulate clear and concrete requests of others. These requests should be phrased as positive actions we want to happen, rather than what we don't want. It's also important to make requests, not demands, meaning we remain open to hearing "no." For example, instead of saying "Stop being late," a request could be, "Would you be willing to arrive on time for our meetings?"

The intention behind NVC is to move beyond habitual reactions and communicate in a way that promotes understanding and encourages compassionate responses. It emphasizes both honest self-expression and empathic listening. By focusing on observations, feelings, needs, and requests, NVC aims to create connections where everyone's needs can be acknowledged and met as much as possible.