IFS Intimacy From The Inside Out (IFIO) is a model of couples therapy developed by Toni Herbine-Blank, drawing primarily from the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model of psychotherapy.

Here's a summary of the key aspects of IFIO:

• Applies IFS to Relationships: IFIO extends the core IFS concepts of "parts" (sub-personalities with their own feelings, beliefs, and roles) and the "Self" (a core of wisdom, compassion, and confidence) to the dynamics within a couple.

• Focuses on Internal Systems: It emphasizes understanding how each partner's internal "system" of parts interacts and influences the relationship. Conflicts are often seen as arising from the interactions of protective and wounded parts within each individual.

• Unblending and Self-Leadership: IFIO helps partners differentiate their own parts from their partner's parts ("unblending") and access their own "Self" energy. Communicating from the Self, rather than from reactive or defensive parts, leads to more empathetic and constructive interactions.

• Understanding Protectors and Exiles: The model helps couples recognize their "protectors" (parts that defend against emotional pain) and "exiles" (parts holding painful emotions or memories). Understanding these parts fosters empathy for each other's experiences.

• Creating Internal Attachment Stability: A key focus of IFIO is building internal security within each partner. This allows them to remain connected to themselves and their Self even when their partner is unavailable or triggering.

• Changing Communication Patterns: IFIO provides tools and techniques to shift negative communication patterns into more open, honest, and compassionate exchanges. It emphasizes making requests that invite connection rather than threaten.

• Healing Past Wounds: The approach acknowledges how past experiences and traumas can impact current relationship dynamics and provides a framework for healing these wounds within the relational context.

• Experiential and Practical: IFIO is an experiential model that uses practical exercises and techniques to help couples gain insight and create lasting change.

In essence, IFIO helps couples move beyond blaming each other and instead explore the underlying needs and vulnerabilities of their individual "parts." By fostering self-compassion and understanding within each partner, and by facilitating communication from their Selves, IFIO aims to create deeper intimacy, connection, and healing in the relationship.