You are more beautiful for having been broken.
The Japanese aesthetic philosophy Wabi-sabi speaks to the beauty of imperfection and impermanence. It rejects the Western ideal of perfection, encouraging us to embrace our flaws and the irregularities or differences that make us unique. Wabi-sabi accepts the transience of life and the constancy of change. We are in a perpetual state of growth and aging, and eventually death. We are most beautiful when we cherish our imperfections, step into our essential authenticity, and accept the undeniability of change. We are like the cherry blossoms, budding in the early breaths of spring, blossoming into the warmth of May, drawing the honey bees with our perfume, and releasing our petals to the pink carpet below. Life, existence, is more beautiful for its fleeting nature. Our appreciation deepens with acceptance of the ephemeral.
What does it mean to live by the Wabi-sabi philosophy? What would it mean for how we approach healing? Many of us strive relentlessly for some ideal of perfection, or the image of perfection projected by our culture. This often leads to harsh inner criticism, pervasive dissatisfaction with oneself and one’s achievements, and suffering. The notion of singular paths to beauty, happiness, and success blind us to the exquisiteness of our unique being and the flowers along our journey. The drive towards the unattainable, like sand through the sieve of our days, cheats us of the present moment. We cannot “be here now” when we are only looking forward.
Kintsugi, the art of repairing broken pottery with golden seams that embrace and honor the cracks rather than obscuring them, is often thought of as one practice of the Wabi-sabi philosophy. In the therapeutic realm, a person who feels shattered by the traumas and experiences of their past, might believe that they must hide their cracks, thereby erasing evidence of the wounds. Not only is this unrealistic, it denies the wisdom, beauty, and perspective gained from their experience and the reintegration of the wounds into the self. Kintsugi encourages us to honor our cracks, scars, and memories as they are important parts of our story. Healing ourselves gives us depth and strength. Our vessel, with its gilded seams reconnecting the shattered pieces to the whole, is more beautiful for its imperfections.